Tag: college

Graduations! Ahhh, what a waste of optimism…

Graduation
Every year, thousands of small birds are inexplicably killed near commencement ceremonies 🙁

WARNING!!!

Recent high school or college graduates, please don’t read this post.  I don’t want to be held responsible for harshing your mellow at this time of great accomplishment in your lives.  As you travel the road of life ahead, you will have plenty of time to discover the truths held in my words for yourself.

The wife and I took our boys to our niece’s high school graduation this past weekend in North Platte, NE.  So, we spent a weekend watching young people being recognized for their accomplishments. This all got me to thinking… thinking how much people could accomplish with their lives if the stinking real-world didn’t have to come along and jack everything up.

I remember graduating from high school feeling like the whole world was out there waiting for me to conquer it. I remember having the same delusions at my graduation from college. At my niece’s graduation, I could read the same thoughts in the faces of all of those graduates. They were imagining their futures filled with limitless opportunities. Give them a few years. They will find the limits. Actually, the limits will hunt them down and stomp many of them into the ground.  I know.  The graduating class speaker was a well spoken young woman who reminded the graduates that they were solely responsible for their own futures. Graduates and school administrators say that kind of stuff at graduations. Graduates and school administrators believe that kind of stuff at graduations.  Now, with graduates being young and naive, such dreams are expected.  School administrators, on the other hand, should know better but are extremely biased in their perception of the true value of “education.”  Aside from the field of education, I can’t think of a single line of work in the United States of America where further education guarantees higher earnings, seniority, and advancement.  A large percentage of people employed in the field of education seem to have lost touch with what it is actually like outside of the field of education, and those people probably should not be allowed to speak at commencement ceremonies; they paint an unrealistically-rosy picture.
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Well, I guess we want to give these young people hope for the future, right?  No need having them give up when a very small percentage of them are going to accomplish those dreams.  As for those who will not accomplish their dreams, they will have plenty of time to figure out what their futures hold.

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Soon enough, most of these optimistic young people will be just like the rest of us… wondering why everyone misled us about how bright our futures were.  For the kiddos, when someone tells you that you may need to set “new goals” or dream “new dreams”, this is them gently telling your dreams and goals are unrealistic (see, they lied to you at graduation… you can’t accomplish anything you want).  Pick something less-hard to accomplish, or maybe just settle for what you have.  Less hard and settling are what most of us do on a daily basis…

Montana Grizzly’s Fans

I attended college at Montana State University. When I tell people that I went to MSU, they assume that I went to Michigan State, and I have to refute the idea that I would have furthered my education at any institution whose mascot looks like he belongs on the side of a box of condoms… but in hindsight, maybe Michigan would have been a better choice…

Montana has a slew of good colleges scattered across her girth, but there are two major universities: Montana State University and the University of Montana. MSU resides in Bozeman, MT and when I attended school there, the population of Bozeman almost doubled when the 10,000 college students made their way to low-rent apartments, trailer houses, and dormitories within Bozeman city limits. Missoula is home to U of M and, like Bozeman, offers a variety of winter activities to its residents. Both schools are great for anyone who likes his or her winters filled with snow and frigid temperatures. I loved going to college in Bozeman!

Of course, having two decent-sized colleges in the same state leads to a natural rivalry. Whatever the sport, these two schools and their alumni always cheer hardest when they are playing their rival… especially when it comes to football.

Now, I am sorry to write that this rivalry has a tradition of being a little one-sided. U of M has built a quality football program, while MSU has… uh… tried to not embarass themselves. Every once in a great while, however, the Bobcats of MSU hand the Grizzlies of U of M some bear butt on a platter. This year just happened to being one of those monumental years.

That’s right… oh yeah… uh huh… uh huh… the Cats beat the Griz!  Did you hear me… the CATS beat the griz 🙂  See, this is supposed to be how it goes.  The fan of a winning team should be able to go off, you know.  You do a little of the rubbing-in-the-face, you cheer, you shout, you degrade the other team, and then you stop.  And then the football season ends and you sit on pins and needles until next year (where in the case of the Bobcats, you will probably lose).  This is supposed to be how it goes!  But Grizzly fans don’t let it play-out this way.  Grizzly fans kind of… well… suck.

I don’t blame the Grizzly fans for sucking so much.  They aren’t used to losing; so when they lose, they don’t follow the rules.  The rules are as follows:

1 –  When your team wins a sporting competition, you have every right to make as complete of an ass of yourself as permissible by law.

2 – No matter the record nor the history of the two teams competing, the winning team has every right to ride and remain on cloud nine until such position on such cloud it removed by a defeat the following year.

3 – The losing team is allowed to cuss and swear and belittle the opposing team with temper-tantrum-style-rants.  The losing team may use any language necessary… up-to-and including threats of beating the crap out of someone, murder, rape and even bestiality (as in: “I’m gonna take your Bobcat and I’m gonna ‘something having to do with bestiality’ him until he’s screaming for me to stop (as if an actual beast could  legitimately scream out anything).  This is what Bobcat fans do, and this is what we expect of Grizzly fans.

Grizzly fans do not stick to these parameters.  Grizzly fans try to seem uncaring in their team’s defeat.  They throw out all sort of pompous “congratulations” and effacing “you deserve it” type statements, but all the while they remind you of the record between the two schools and throw how many “national championships” the Grizzlies have won in your face.  You can’t even enjoy your team’s victory because you are sooo torked-off at how the Grizzly fans are rubbing… uh… your victory… in your face?!?  Stupid Grizzly fans!

As a Bobcat fan, I have a few words to all of the Grizzly fans out there!  First of all, thank you for your congratulations and stuff… yes, we deserve it.  Second of all, I don’t care what the record is or how many times your team has steam-rolled our team… we won this year and you did not… so this year, the Grizzlies SUCK!  🙂  And I’m not talking about a minor suckage.  I’m talking major suck!  Third of all, I don’t care how many “national championships” you’ve won.  I’ve tried to tell people where I live that “Montana won the nation championship”, and they say, “What?”

“Yeah, University of Montana won the national championship,” I say.

“In what sport?” person where I live asks.

“College football,” I say.

“Huh?” say the person in Nebraska where I live asks.

“Yeah, their like in the NCAA Division I-AA,” I say.

“Division what?” the Nebraska person says.

You know… Big Sky Conference and stuff,” I say.

“You mean where Boise State came from?” the Nebraska person asks.

“… uh… yeah, I guess so,” I say.

“Cool!” the Nebraska person says.  “Who did they beat in the championship?”

“Well, I think in the last national championship, they beat Fargo,” I say.

“Like… Fargo State?” the Nebraska person asks.

“…uh… well… no.  It was like the Fargo College of Mines and Cosmetology,” I whisper.

“… national champions, huh?” the Nebraska person asks.

‘That’s what they tell me,” I say, but am quick to mention, “but the Bobcats of Montana State kicked their ass this year!”  And I smile from ear to ear.

“Good for you, Special Ed, “says the Nebraska fan… I don’t know why they always call me ‘Special Ed’ whenever I bring up Montana sports… I think they may be talking down to me… much like the stinking Grizzly fans 🙁  Whatever!

So, to anyone and everyone who happens to read my blog in the next few days (that’s right… both of you!), please be rooting for MSU against whatever lame North Dakota team they may be playing this coming weekend!  We Bobcats need as much crap to rub in the face of those annoying Grizzly fans as possible 🙂