Stinking Technology!

Isn’t technology amazing?  Hasn’t it made daily life so much easier?  Nothing reduces stress like modern technology!

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First-thing on a typical Monday morning in Tech Support:

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Me: Thanks for calling tech support, how can I help you?

Little old lady on Phone (lol): My internet isn’t working.

Me: I’m sorry to hear that.  Let’s see if we can’t get it fixed for you.

Instant Message from new co-worker (im1): Hey, why would someone’s dealie tell them their network cable is unplugged?

Me: How long has your Internet not been working?

Me: What dealie?

Instant Message from old co-worker (im2): I got a weird one.  this guy can’t see anything on his screen.

lol: It hasn’t worked all morning.

im1: I don’t know, the little dealie in the bottom corner of the monitor.

Me: What do you mean “can’t see anything”?

Me: So it was working yesterday?

Instant Message from boss (im3): Did you get that equipment ordered?

im2: the screen is completely blank.

Me: Did you have them check their network cable?

lol: I didn’t use it yesterday.

Me: What equipment?

Text Message from the wife (text1): Can u grab a gallon of milk after work?

Me: The blue screen of death?

im3: the routers for the Schergenrader installation.

Me: When is the last time you used it?

im2: What network cable?

Me: Yeah, how come?

im2: no, it’s completely black

lol: I haven’t used it for a couple of weeks.

Me: I don’t know anything about the Scherkenderfer installation.

text1: I have to pick the boy up from school and won’t have time.

Me: The network cable going into the back of the computer from her router.

Me: What do you see on your screen right now?

im3: Maybe I forgot to tell you about it.  I need you to order 3 routers, next day, for the Schergenrader installation tomorrow.

Me: Are you sure there is power to the monitor?

Text Message from the boy (text2): Can u pk me up aftr skwl?

im1: OK, I’ll have her check that.

lol: Nothing.

Me: I’d have to order in the next 10 minutes to get it guaranteed by tomorrow.

im2: she says it is plugged in.

im1: The cable is connected, but the lights on her router aren’t on.

Me: I thought your mom was gonna pick you up.

text2: Mom g2 p u milk or sumtin

Me: So, your screen is just blue?

im3: Yeah, we really need them.  I’d order them, but I have an appointment to get my hair cut.  I’m already late.

Me: The boy is asking me to pick him up

lol: No, the screen is black

Me: Your mom asked me to get the milk, she said she was going to get you.  Could you work it out with her and let me know what I need to do.  I’m kind of busy.

text2: wrtg a novel?  L2 txt. uradrk 🙂

text1: no, I’ll get him.  You need to get the milk.

Me: I don’t know if I will have time.

Me: Can you work it out with the boy?  I’m kind of busy right now.  Just let me know what you guys decide and I’ll do whatever that is.

Me: How about we try pushing the power button?

Me: How about we try pushing the power button?

Me: How about we try pushing the power button?

Me: How about we try pushing the power button?

lol: What power button?

im1: Power button on what?

text2: That’s the longest text ever. uradrk ♥

im2: Push what?

im3: Power button?  What in the hell are you talking about?  Just get it done!

Me: The power button on the monitor.

Me: Make sure the router is plugged in.

Me: The power button on the monitor.

lol: Well what do you know.  Looks like that didn’t get turned on.  Looks like my internet is actually working.  Thank you.

im1: Oh, hey, it was unplugged.  Seems to be good now.

Me: Your welcome.

text2: Mom get me, u get milk

im2: Yeah, the monitor wasn’t turned on.  All is well.

text2: I’ll get the boy, you get the milk… just like I first wrote.

Me: Great

Me: Great

Me: Great

Me: Great

Me: Great

im3: “Great” what?  Are you smoking something funny?

Me: No, I mean, yes, I mean… never mind.  I’ll get the routers ordered.  Then I can start going through my email…

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Technology SUCKS!!!   Man, I miss my Blackberry…



5 thoughts on “Stinking Technology!”

  1. So thats why the long pauses in conversation when you call tech support. It all makes sense now.

    As for the texts, i can handle one or two, then i just simply text : CALL ME. Seems to save time.

  2. See, that’s a good reason to not text! I have still resisted the movement, but I see it looming in my future (whenever my girls get a phone from their dad!). That must be so difficult for you, a male, to multitask like that. I am so sorry for you.

  3. Lee, yeah, I’m the same with texting… at least with a regular phone. When I had a smartphone with a full QWERTY, I was a texting fool, now it’s like, “screw this, just call me!”

    Thanks, Matt. Coming from a journalism major who now does… nothing… at… all… with… journalism… well, your comments are always welcome 🙂

    Judy, yeah, I have stress issues related to multitasking… but at least I don’t have gas problems related to the removal of my gallbladder 😀

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